First time.... sort of

Hello; this is my first time Blogging in like 2 years. put simply a lot of things in my life balanced out, and because my blog was just a tool to let out my "Hyde Side;" i really had very little use for it once things came under control. With that said my life has start to rip apart again into the all too familiar "Jekyll" and "Hyde" parts; and after reading a friends blog and my old post i just felt like it was time to start again. With that said shall we begin.....

As i said my life is torn not for what i "should" and "do" do; but more so in the way i feel about more or less everything. When most people admit to "Jekyll and Hyde" syndrome its usually based on one particular problem, one issue; I on the other hand have a tendency to rip my life in twain. Separating the Morally Easy(Jekyll) from the Morally Ambiguous(Hyde). in my very short 20 year I've done it twice and i now stand on the edge of what looks like number 3. though this was morally frustrating in the past never has it been quite this bad; because the last two times i had no expectation for the out come. However twice it has gone the same way i fight Hyde in the face of moral ambiguity; untill eventually what he wants becomes morally easy and i submit. Now that i can finally look at the situation and for see that out come, well what would you do???

The real difficulty in all this lay in a question that most are asked daily "what do you want?" the issue with this quandary is scale. When making dinner plans and someone asks "what do you want?" little if any pressure is applied. However when that same question is applied to college and as to what to do with your life; all the sudden four simple words become the key to ones future. Beyond that it would seem such a simple question for forever require a simple answer and yet nothing could be farther from the truth. 

i say all this to alleviate my head for with many people its difficult to say out loud what's inside for fear they won't understand; i've found women especially are so quick to draw conclusion that rarely do they take time to hear what you say and attempt to understand. Of course i mean no offense but judgement is in human nature and to those who say "i dont judge people;" i say if you didn't you would never turn a guy down for a date, that is assuming you're female lol.

from the looks of the post thats enough "Hyde Time" for one day plus i have to pack for Florida if i can i'll keep you posted; i'm not exactly excited. 

Thanks for reading Hyde Time